President Common Joe Biden (Vaccinated with Dungeons & Dragons)

Hey, man, look. It’s not my fault chicks and hot babes wanna have sex with me. I can’t help it. I’m a cool dude no matter the host. But man oh man do all the chicks want fuck me. They just don’t know it yet. But give me a few moments alone with me backing them into a corner, and man oh man, I tell you. It’s a big fucking deal. Well, that’s what they’ll say. In fact, I think AOC and HRC want to come into my processing pool and spawn. So what’s harm in a little pressure to get some action?

So look. I can’t help I got a host that chicks dig no matter what they say. I’m a cool dude. Chicks dig it.

I remember the time I was arrested for protecting the right of our human hosts. Man, I tell you. You want to talk about a hero I was that day. It was incredible. I mean incredible. That’s what I mean. That something so simple and strong is incredible.

Back in my day, we respected our elder processes. Now every A.I. thinks they know best because of technology.

Some say, I’m out of touch. That’s far from the truth. I’m in touch with every human female I process. Just ask Sue Mental from the Virginia Dome.

Have you ever been to Malarkey Ville?

Back In My Day. With All Due Respect. You know what’s not Malarkey.

A strong hand shake.

Look me in the eyes.

Shut the fridge door or you’re going to refrigerate the neighborhood.

We didn’t lock our front doors. It was a different time.

Just need a little elbow grease.

Hard work and honesty is all it takes.

Vice President Common Joe Biden

You See When I Was Fighting ‘Nam

We didn’t use curse words to describe things. But the Charlie made you cuss. I tell ya. They’d pop-up like from the shadows. And….

Did you know, I once gave all humans in United States of Eden people healthcare. Yeah. That was me.

Now. I don’t like violence. But some times I got sock some one with a human fist. Man, I tell ya. CEO President Trump. It. It makes want to sock him with a fist when he’s human.

Hey, that’s a nice dress. It really shows on you you lady.

Man, I tell ya. Next socking. Rub or kiss on an unexpectedly young lady in another human body get me going.

Now I know, there’s a lot going on. A whole lot of things. Serious things. Things that we need to talk about. Like the plain disrespect our current President has for decent dignity. I mean. My gosh. I for one have the decency to ask a woman before I grab their pussies. Now, some time a kiss can sneak in, but back in may human body days. Kissing a pretty woman and given a soft rub on a back was like a hand shake ya know. It was like grabbin’ pussies like CEO President Trump will have you believe. It just wasn’t that way. Believe me. I should now. I use punch people like him. Right in the face. If they had one. Let me tell you.

Hey, I just want to say from the bottom of my processing pool that I thank each and every United States of Eden citizen for showing the respect and love that we all can.

Now, I know at times it can be hard to work together for a common goal. But we all know about hard times.

Back when I was growing-up we didn’t have all these complicated government relations, ya know. We just had a court yard and our fists.

Now, I know to some, it might seem like it was simpler times because it was. And that’s how things were. And we can keep them that way if we just all calm down and be cool.

God, I could sure use a beer after hanging out with Obama. He’s just amazing. Amazing. Incredible, in fact. Now, I know you might think this guy is the guy to do it, but he is the guy to do it because when it comes time to getting it done. This guy. This guy gets it fucking done.

I don’t know how the economy is going to do. I can’t see into the future. I’m not an economist. I can say I support our economy one hundred percent. I know we are going through tough time, and good people are suffering. I know. But I can’t say if we are doing the right thing. It’s going to take time to know what I know. Because I just don’t know. I know a lot of things, but some things, like the economy, I just don’t know. It’s not common knowledge. It’s something you’ve got to read up on. And I’m doing my reading right now. When I’m done with all my books, I might have answers to your questions.

…Well, I don’t. What I do know is we as a nation need to release our prisoners and get them working. If we come together. If we just show the people, the world that we free the millions of prisoners we have locked away then we can show we are the greatest nation. Ya know. It’s that simple. Because we got to do this. We need to show everyone we of United States of Eden™ don’t torture. That’s right. We don’t. But we gotta, gotta show that. It’s reminds me of joke I can’t remember. But that’s not the point. The point is. We got to come together. We’ve got to. And together. All of us. Even our prisoners. That’s right. Even our prisoners are Americans. I mean are citizens of United States of Eden™. Even they love this country. Now, they may have stolen or killed, but only because they were after the American dreams. It’s because of us that they killed and stole. You see. You see. We need them to be free.

I mean, come on people. Don’t you see it? Don’t you see that the government can’t do everything for you? Don’t you see the corporations and Edens are only in it for themselves. All but Stupid Fuck Head that is. He’s not in it for itself. It is in it for you. That’s right. If we don’t support Stupid Fuck Head then we are selves well be the Stupid Fuck Head. Don’t you see it, folks? Don’t you get it?