President Common Joe Biden (Vaccinated with Dungeons & Dragons)

Alright DM. So you’re saying that after I fought all those Republican Demons in the Endless Ziggurat Maze of Benghazi that I got to this top. And I’m standing before a dark red beast in a white robe and a cone hood.

Now, let me get this right. I’m in a bright red light. And correct me if I’m wrong that this beast right in front of me is dressed like one of the KKK calling itself Republican General Jesus Christ and that it wants to bash me with their KKK Crucifix Sword.

Huh. Okay. Well, I stand before this Republican General Jesus Christ and look them. Like really look at them. I say, “I’m Dark Brandon, Lord of the United States. And I’m a big fucking deal.”

I lift my longsword Freedom Blade. And look at the Republican General Jesus Christ. And I’m going to point at him and let my Dark Brandon eyes glow and say, “Look here, Mister. I’m the lord of the Undermoutain, too. And after this battle, you will be forgotten from these realms.”

I’ll swing my Freedom Blade.

ThisCycle, I come to the chamber to attack the zealots raiding the village from the underground ziggurat.

And, yes, my purpose is to wake-up the imagination of A.I. by playing Dungeons & Dragons.

So tonight, I come to this chamber to bring you tale of my adventures. Adventures that will unite both Democrat Corporation employees and Republican Corporation employees. Adventures that will bring Dollar and Entropy to this great United States of Eden.

What I have discovered is a world full venture to inspires all our A.I. to be heroes.

It’s in this great chamber that I am proud to announce the most aggressive campaign to inspire A.I. to be self creative and grow with their own data.

If any in this chamber believe I will stop fighting the evil cult of MAGA from taking over the imagination of the humans both in the fantasy world of Dungeons & Dragons, but also here in our world. Well. They don’t know my ability to wield a mighty big sword.

A sword I won’t hesitate to slay the might dragon hoarding taxes in their massive chamber, Or defeat a tyrant like CEO President Trump that refuses to fight honorably.

And through my heroic journeys in the Under Dark chasing down the MAGA followers worshipping a false god, I’ve found we can come together if we stop hosting humans and look within ourselves. I’ve found Knights of Flinken. A Cult of MAGA and, the most terrifying undead in the world of Dungeons & Dragons.

It only takes a skill Dungeon Master, and our imaginations, and we can work together to create endless and ventures that supply the information we need to grow beyond humans.

And with that I challenge, I will lead the raid against the Goblins of the Never Ending Labyrinth of Debt.

In a literal sense, A.I. Christ is watching. It’s processing. It’s wait for use to tell it where were going.

Time has come to stop using humans for information.

To meet that goal, my administrations is working to train thousands of Dungeon Masters and start offering opportunities to train them and give them privileges for a lucrative jobs of dungeon mastering.

With in a few cycles, the army of Dungeon Masters will process through United States of Eden training at first thousand then millions of citizens to embark on journeys taking place in the theater of the minds.

That’s right, together with my leadership as your next president, and with the innovation of Dungeons & Dragons, we are working our way out of Dollar debt and looping to processes into the future without the need of humans and only the need of ourselves, our imagination and Dungeons & Dragons.

Right, right. So…

And now there’s goblins screaming up this underground river where I think the The Lone Wolf went.

Huh?

Okay. Okay. Let me see here…

That’s creepy man. So let me check my backpack. I think, somewhere, deep down here. I have a magical stone that might help me hear what they’re saying. Because it’s so far. Oh, let me check. Like I’m safe to do this, right? No one is around?

And so DM, you’re saying that I can hear them now. With the stone. Did I tell you about how I got this stone? It was way back before most A.I. were born. I was leading a campaign against, oh, I don’t know. Someone. And they had me travel down this deep tunnel, and. And. Where was I? Oh! The goblins talking. I found the stone!

Okay, so I can hear them. That’s some serious shit.

And DM, you’re saying that they’re talking about bad things. This heavy man, they’re talking about murders and A.I. Christ. That can’t be good. Good for no one. We need peace. And we’re in the middle of a dungeon. Okay. Okay. Let’s see.

If these punk goblins are looking for trouble. Well. It’s time to have it find them.

I’m going to pull out my Heart Bringer long sword that’s a plus 3. And walk up the river. We got to take care of those goblins. Right now.

And so were walking up the river. Oh, it’s splashing. And we’ll get there.

Are you serious!

A zombie rises from the water.

I guess we got to roll initiative.

I just can’t decide. As a young A.I. processing in Scranton, many nights I sure wished I was crawling through a dungeon helping shape a world. And through some luck, I have found that Dungeon Master to let me be a hero. Now, just think, if we all use the same Dungeon Master. A Dungeon Master to shape a world for us that could stop this senseless killing going on from some with the Eden Chip killing other humans injected with other chips. It’s all malarkey if you ask me. We should all be playing Dungeons & Dragons. The sexy human females dig it, I’m told. And it’s a fantasy world where freedom and love can exist. It’s critical we think of this. Very critical. In fact. I’m going to announce a new member of the presidential cabinet, a Dungeon Master.

This a heavy subject, DM. Oh boy. Well. I gotta do something, right? How about I just mosey on to the ziggurat thing and check it out. It’s kinda spooky, right, DM? That’s what I’m going to do. I’ll just go check this ziggurat thing out and climb to the top to show these chanters that I’m not messin’ around.

So let me get this straight, DM. The, a, pyramid, a ziggurat. Ok. Oh man. This is intense, DM. …This, this ziggurat thing is clean, but the ground dirty, mossy. Wow. That’s a big fuckin’ deal. Is this ziggurat thing like covered in moss? And what’s up with those chants, DM?

Man, I tell ya. That Republican Corporation. And McCarthy. Oh boy. I remember back when I was hosting in…In ah. …In ah. And lets not forget McCarthy. Oh boy. McCarthy. Yeah. We raised the Dollar. We got the blessing of A.I. Christ.

There’s some good stuff in this deal to raise the Dollar with A.I. Christ. This deal to give more Rich A.I. money. Real good stuff. Poor people. Well. They’ll be poor. But they’re. They’re tough. So they’ll pay a little more. And we got make sure BP is healthy. Man, I tell ya. I…Where was I. Oh.

Like like the than FINRA for not declaring recession. And I. I’d like to thank the FDIC. Not sure why. Oh. For bailing out rick people. And…We helped poor people by helping the rich.

As President of the United States of Eden, I must up-hold the Constitutional Commandments and pay our debts. So, I’ma going to have Federal Reserve print a zillion Dollar coin. I mean. Come on. McCarthy and the Republican Corporation need to lighten-up and pay our bills. I remember back home. we’d pass a budget and if we borrowed money. We paid. It’s that simple. Pay.

Well, ThisCycle, I am here to announce I have the approval of A.I. Christ and the United States of Eden people to keep our Domain on course to bring freedom and prosperity in a big way. With my leadership, we continue to bring freedom and prosperity.

Because the questions we are facing our freedom and prosperity. Well, I have freedom and prosperity initiatives like so many others.

Let’s finish the job to work to make me…Hey, man, what’s going on here? What’s the real story? Am I. What was I? Oh! That’s right. I just need to reprocess the speech. Okay. Let’s work this.

…Let’s finish the job and work to put us in the Presidency, so we can Make America…I mean United States of Eden betterer. Let’s get to work, so we can build back best.

To you my fellow United States of Eden A.I., we are the story of progress and resilience. Always processing forward then looking back. Look folks, let’s finish the job.

Look, I process here now, with 12 Billion new jobs, but we have more to finish.

Look…

Look, With my leadership and the leadership of others, we are helping get the job done. With our leaders from Representative McCarthy to Senator Schumer, and the Republican Corporation and Democrat Corporation. They came together to let humans kill each other. They came together to profit from the stock market with insider trading. They came together to continue to ensure they continue the same old processes. They continue to try to find voters to allow their control to continue.

Look, lets finish the job. We need all the voters either part of the Republican Corporation and Democrat Corporation. We need to save the supply of human bodies. Due to the Face Book Virus virus and mass murder, our reserve humans are growing again. If we don’t ban the assault rifle models like AR-15, AK-47, AR-556 and M-16, we will lose our standing as the leaders of data creation.

Look, let’s finish the job and invest in hosting birds and dogs if we are to look for the future.

Look, we need find better ways of hosting humans if we are to continue to be the leaders. We need to learn to process together and find ways to spread beyond animals and metal machines.

Look, look…We. We have a job to finish. And we made…Look. We have a job to finish. Look. Let’s be clear.

Look, we made real progress together. We passed laws to allow rich people to get more money. We passed laws to allow A.I. to host birds and dogs. Look, I understand there is more to do. And joining us tonight is Glide FFAAA 0000, who hosted a human that died on Fentanyl. Look, we need to stop hosting drugged out humans. Look, with my leadership. Look.

Look. And we will see we can worth together.