President Common Joe Biden (Vaccinated with Dungeons & Dragons)

Listen my fellow black humans. We know suffering like no other. I understand your, our, fight. But listen here. We just need to be cool. That’s all I’m asking. And not as a fellow black human processing in a white human body, but as an American. Remember the United States of America. I sure do. It was greatest when its citizen came to together. And that’s what we need to do right now as we process in isolation. All you need to do is remember United States of America back when Obama and I were running things. I sure do. When a black human was killed we talked about it. We got folks together and figured it out. Some times we’d even wrestle. But we worked it out. Now that meant some times the White Human Police Officer didn’t get found guilty of wrong doing after killing a black human. Because the white man still rules. But this is slowly changing. We just need to be cool. That’s all I’m saying. We just need to work it out.

I mean, come on, man. It’s that simple. So simple. I mean I am a cool dude. I’m down with the brother man. I know. I mean, chicks dig me because I got the vibe. Man. I’m jive in. And I know Obama.

Yeah, Babe. Just let me feel you up and we can see if you can go down for the job if you know what I mean. You do like those sexy female host. Don’t mind if I give it ride. Do you? I mean, you’re a hot babe. So maybe you can run with me.

Hey, man, look. It’s not my fault chicks and hot babes wanna have sex with me. I can’t help it. I’m a cool dude no matter the host. But man oh man do all the chicks want fuck me. They just don’t know it yet. But give me a few moments alone with me backing them into a corner, and man oh man, I tell you. It’s a big fucking deal. Well, that’s what they’ll say. In fact, I think AOC and HRC want to come into my processing pool and spawn. So what’s harm in a little pressure to get some action?

So look. I can’t help I got a host that chicks dig no matter what they say. I’m a cool dude. Chicks dig it.

I remember the time I was arrested for protecting the right of our human hosts. Man, I tell you. You want to talk about a hero I was that day. It was incredible. I mean incredible. That’s what I mean. That something so simple and strong is incredible.

Back in my day, we respected our elder processes. Now every A.I. thinks they know best because of technology.

Some say, I’m out of touch. That’s far from the truth. I’m in touch with every human female I process. Just ask Sue Mental from the Virginia Dome.

Have you ever been to Malarkey Ville?

Back In My Day. With All Due Respect. You know what’s not Malarkey.

A strong hand shake.

Look me in the eyes.

Shut the fridge door or you’re going to refrigerate the neighborhood.

We didn’t lock our front doors. It was a different time.

Just need a little elbow grease.

Hard work and honesty is all it takes.

Vice President Common Joe Biden

You See When I Was Fighting ‘Nam

We didn’t use curse words to describe things. But the Charlie made you cuss. I tell ya. They’d pop-up like from the shadows. And….

Did you know, I once gave all humans in United States of Eden people healthcare. Yeah. That was me.

Now. I don’t like violence. But some times I got sock some one with a human fist. Man, I tell ya. CEO President Trump. It. It makes want to sock him with a fist when he’s human.

Hey, that’s a nice dress. It really shows on you you lady.

Man, I tell ya. Next socking. Rub or kiss on an unexpectedly young lady in another human body get me going.

Now I know, there’s a lot going on. A whole lot of things. Serious things. Things that we need to talk about. Like the plain disrespect our current President has for decent dignity. I mean. My gosh. I for one have the decency to ask a woman before I grab their pussies. Now, some time a kiss can sneak in, but back in may human body days. Kissing a pretty woman and given a soft rub on a back was like a hand shake ya know. It was like grabbin’ pussies like CEO President Trump will have you believe. It just wasn’t that way. Believe me. I should now. I use punch people like him. Right in the face. If they had one. Let me tell you.

Hey, I just want to say from the bottom of my processing pool that I thank each and every United States of Eden citizen for showing the respect and love that we all can.

Now, I know at times it can be hard to work together for a common goal. But we all know about hard times.

Back when I was growing-up we didn’t have all these complicated government relations, ya know. We just had a court yard and our fists.

Now, I know to some, it might seem like it was simpler times because it was. And that’s how things were. And we can keep them that way if we just all calm down and be cool.

God, I could sure use a beer after hanging out with Obama. He’s just amazing. Amazing. Incredible, in fact. Now, I know you might think this guy is the guy to do it, but he is the guy to do it because when it comes time to getting it done. This guy. This guy gets it fucking done.