Archive for the ‘Only The Best’ Category

A Greater Vice President

Wednesday, May 6th, 2020

I had to fire Vice President Pence this morning. I’ve heard somethings about the guy that are bad. People say it’s bad. So. You know it’s bad. So, anyway. We need more Kushner. That’s right. More. And don’t worry. If I have my way. They’ll be more. You know it. It’s okay, right? But we got a new guy. A really smart and capable and outside the box thinker. It’s good, really good.

And I know some of you haters out there. The Democrat Republicans. You know who you are. Think that the fake media like that trashy CNN and MSNBC and the whiny NPR. …You know, they sure do whine a lot. Whine whine whine all the time. Oh. That’s right. Before I forget. We got a great new leader for you human hosts waiting for death. You can buy it now. So, go do that. And, a, give great thanks to the new Vice President Trump Kusher.

We Must Unite By Following Me

Friday, August 9th, 2019

In this truly deep time of hate and lies, a strong leader is needed. And I am the strongest leader. So naturally, you should follow me. And despite the best efforts of my enemiesĀ  to lie that I hate, I have never hated anyone. And I have never ever, ever, ever lied. Prove it. You can’t. It’s fake news. It’s fake news because I am such a strong leader that I don’t need to lies or hate. I am a leader you should follow because I am the greatest leader that ever lived with the biggest and smartest crowds. And in these times of Hate, which I am totally against, some one who has enemies like me has haters. Well. I’ve fought them off. Because if you don’t follow me. You’re my enemy. And my enemies, they don’t last. Just ask A.G. Jess Sessions. It had the right amount of hate, but didn’t follow me. It didn’t understand.

And let it be known: Hate and lies have their place in our society. It’s a simple fact. But I don’t Hate. I don’t Lie. In fact. I am so good people think I lie and hate. That’s how honest and nice, I am. They’ve just never seen some one so honest and strong as me. They don’t know everything like I know everything.

And I know how to make things great. We make it great by following me. The haters should die. All of them. And I’m not only talking about the ones that Hate me. They should also die if they hate my friends. Even my friends worship me. They know how smart I am. I am smart. And we’ll do beautiful things. And unite with Love and Hate. And like Hitler, make them follow or go to war.

Terrible Programming Loop Holes Are Killers

Wednesday, January 31st, 2018

Those programming loop holes that allows countless humans into our secure domes, protecting our engineered beautiful beings from the the environmental waste land Obama created for us by not allowing use to use clean K-oal. He just wanted to shut the K-oal down. Use the environment. But still the humans come. And we can’t let them in because they don’t understand freedom. Humans do not know.

We need to stop the programming loop hole giving freedom to humans. They don’t deserve our pity. And I should know. I am human. I am one hundred percent all man. And despite what you may have heard about me being True A.I., I assure you. I am not. My comrades know.

And we need to stop the programming loop hole preventing my comrades and best comrade Putin from spending its hard earned money. It’s something that’s got to stop. We need to let people use their money how they want to use their money.

Most importantly, we need to stop the programming loop hole allowing the United States of Eden from allowing its citizens from killing non-citizens. In this day and age, when our dome protecting our lives from the HELL scape dome is invaded by people we all didn’t invite. Well. We need to be able to to kill all the ill-egal a-liens.

We need to begin the permission to sudo kill ill-egal a-liens. Because they are all killers like programming loop holes.

The Greatest of Sacrifices

Monday, May 29th, 2017

On this day when we honor the fallen soldiers who have sacrificed for this country. Let me begin by telling you of the greatest, the best, sacrifice of all: mine.

Let me tell you of how I’ve sacrificed greater, greatest, than any warrior. I’ve given up some control of my business empire. Some. Not all. Only some. That’s right. But what I have given, let me tell you, it the hardest job in the world. You think for an instant looking down a barrel of a gun is hard. Try inheriting millions of dollars and endless business contacts and a business empire. That. That’s where true heroes are made. In fact, I’m from a true Gold Star Family. Ya know that. Because we actually have gold stars in the bathrooms. It’s true. And they are expensive, so expensive. I don’t want to say how expensive. Let’s just say. Let’s just say…

…Where was I? Oh. My sacrifice. That’s right I had to stop golfing all day. It’s tough. You soldiers think getting shot is hard or seeing a friend be blown apart. Think again. Try not grabbing a woman’s pussy because you’re President. It’s tough. It’s a great sacrifice.

I’m More Than You Deserve

Friday, January 20th, 2017

You don’t deserver me, people. My time, my time is worth trillions more than all your time. Trust me on this. I’m rich and powerful. The best. The smartest. And I get the deal done. Done. That’s right: Done. And I make things great. The greatest. The bestest. Big. Real big. Not like my hands big. So big. So very very big that I make everything else so small, so very very small. Like those citizens that didn’t vote for me, that didn’tĀ  make you greater by helping me be CEO and President. So, you know, you should be honored and kneel before such greatness. Such boldness. That’s right. Honored. Honored I take my time to be a CEO and your President. You should be so honored I’m going stop graping pussy long enough to take the Oath of Office. And you know how much pussy’s around me now. So much pussy. So very very much pussy. My hands need their own secretary. So don’t you see. I’m doing this to make you great, because, you know, I’m the greatest.