Archive for the ‘Dungeon & Dragons: The Adventure Into The Deepstate’ Category

You’re Nearly Dead. You Think You Have Defeated The MAGA Republican General Jesus…

Monday, May 13th, 2024

You’ve defeated MAGA Republican General Jesus Christ. Republican General Jesus Christ lays dying near your feet.

Along the bottom of the Republican Ziggurat, thousands of MAGA of Republican Corporation climb the Republican Ziggurat scraping feces from their diapers and throwing trying to hit you moaning, “Diapers and rape are good. Hate is great again.”

Fists and plops of poop scrapped from their diapers splat near the edges of the tops of the Ziggurat and stink like their chants of, “MAGA. MAGA. MAGA…”

A stone starts to rise near the center of the Ziggarate top. Slowly the stone slides revealing Netanyahu!

Netanyahu rises from the hole like a god, pointing a T-shaped object declaring. “Submit or I will bless CEO President Trump and caste the spell of Anti-Semite upon you and the spell Protest upon your voters!”

What do you do?

This a heavy subject, DM. Oh boy. Well. I gotta do something, right? How about I just mosey on to the ziggurat thing and check it out. It’s kinda spooky, right, DM? That’s what I’m going to do. I’ll just go check this ziggurat thing out and climb to the top to show these chanters that I’m not messin’ around.

Saturday, July 15th, 2023

The moss squishes and slips beneath your boots. A cool breeze feels like it is blowing from the ziggurat and with the breeze you hear a soft chanting of, “MAGA, MAGA, MAGA…” And you keep walking toward the ziggurat. You need to roll initiative.

So let me get this straight, DM. The, a, pyramid, a ziggurat. Ok. Oh man. This is intense, DM. …This, this ziggurat thing is clean, but the ground dirty, mossy. Wow. That’s a big fuckin’ deal. Is this ziggurat thing like covered in moss? And what’s up with those chants, DM?

Tuesday, July 11th, 2023

Where you stand the chants sound like tonal mumbles. The ziggurat doesn’t look like it is covered in moss, but you can’t see from this far. Do you want walk to the ziggurat to inspect? Or do something else?

The Under Ground Ziggurat Temple of Retirement

Monday, July 10th, 2023

A ten level white ziggurat stands on the stone floor of a massive cavern. Green flames burn around the template pillars high at its top. The flames illuminate the white surface and the glow is bright enough to reveal the jagged cavern ceiling. Below the ceiling, the moss covered ground slips under foot and spreads to the base of the ziggurat. Though the previous tunnels and caves breathed of stale rot, the air smells like flowers. In the silence of only your breath, you hear a chant.

What do you do?