Blood Diamonds are in my mind. They are reading my thoughts. I can’t think. I need to not think of Steel Bridge. I need to leave before I hurt the movement. This is…No. These words I feel are being scanned. They are being recorded. The time it to go. I need to leave before the Blood Diamonds use me for their war!!!
Cold. Cold and want warm. Deep down warmth. Not this outer body warmth because my core is frozen. Frozen. Frozen, but I can still move. But its slow. Why did I leave the warmth of Portland? Following…Following this guy here wasn’t good. All the promises of place to live – lies. Lies. Lies is part of life. Most lies I can live with. Most lies that don’t effect the body. These lies, the lies that harm the body or shatter the mind are too much. They’re too much now. Now I just want warmth. If not in body then in mind. The mind warm I miss. I miss and felt last in Portland. Not here. Nyc feels cold. Cold deep. Down deep.
Calm cycle with Steel Bridge creates a feeling of bliss beyond the time and mind. I float in silence as we sit and see what passes by like the water under Steel Bridge.
I feel more connected with Steel Bridge than I do with any other being beyond my own body. And maybe even more than my own body. A connection beyond time as I sit and stare for an endless time from the Steel Bridge to the Willamette river below.
Calm. This is nice. That spot right there on the river is pretty. Pretty and calm. Calm and secure. Secure because of Steel Bridge. Steel Bridge. Sitting here on the edge with feet dangling below, the jaded sky pure with no spots. So much jade color for life. For everything. Safe. This is feeling so safe. A calm mind. A calm mind now the drugs are gone.
…I want this this to go. This is going. i am on and on. Knowing all. Everything is all. I can now feel and see you. Yes, and you. I know. That person talking to me earlier was lying. Lying and going, but I see it. I see their thoughts. I see your thoughts and your thoughts and your thoughts. And you. You go away. I see this to you mind and you go away. You go away because I am in control. I am in control and I know and know and know. Now I know. And go. feeling the go. I go. Oh! this is too much. That rush was. …Oh that was way beyond the last rush. …The heart. The heart pumps. Fucking feeling the body go. feeling the body feel with everyone. It is with everyone. This is. This is so good…