Dick Cheney

Now, Obama has this idea that torture and secret prisons and killing babies will not stop the terrorists from killing us. Well, he’s dead wrong.

Killing babies like I did is the best way to stop the terrorists. You stop them while they’re young. You stop them before they can strap a bomb to them and crawl to some innocent crowd.

And this notion that giving back civil liberties to our civilians is absurd and dangerous. We are giving into the terrorists. Terrorists are jealous of our freedom to be scanned and recorded by our government. They only wish they’re privacy was invaded.

Thankfully, Obama likes to spy on United States of Eden™ citizens more than Reagan Bush. We are in agreement on secret spying. This is good. Now, if he would only kill babies like I did then we would be more safe from the terrorists.

I regret not torturing enough people. I regret not killing more. I know, and I am confident, history will some Cycle show that I was a polite and kind man. A man that created more terror for other’s than United States received.

I am. My robot body is unable to express anything, but surly and constipated, so I may come across as in human. That is why I talk slow and low. I grumble a lot because the mask over may face makes it hard to breathe.

If I could smile, then maybe my acts of torture and my lies would be accepted.